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applauded, in whom the passions of rage and grief were most
preeminent, and clothed in the most fitting language, maintaining
the dignity of the character. What is it to me, O my true life, my
God, that my declamation was applauded above so many of my own age and
class? is not all this smoke and wind? and was there nothing else
whereon to exercise my wit and tongue? Thy praises, Lord, Thy
praises might have stayed the yet tender shoot of my heart by the prop
of Thy Scriptures; so had it not trailed away amid these empty
trifles, a defiled prey for the fowls of the air. For in more ways
than one do men sacrifice to the rebellious angels.

But what marvel that I was thus carried away to vanities, and went
out from Thy presence, O my God, when men were set before me as
models, who, if in relating some action of theirs, in itself not
ill, they committed some barbarism or solecism, being censured, were
abashed; but when in rich and adomed and well-ordered discourse they
related their own disordered life, being bepraised, they gloried?
These things Thou seest, Lord, and holdest Thy peace;
long-suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. Wilt Thou hold Thy
peace for ever? and even now Thou drawest out of this horrible gulf
the soul that seeketh Thee, that thirsteth for Thy pleasures, whose
heart saith unto Thee, I have sought Thy face; Thy face, Lord, will
I seek. For darkened affections is removal from Thee. For it is not by
our feet, or change of place, that men leave Thee, or return unto
Thee. Or did that Thy younger son look out for horses or chariots,
or ships, fly with visible wings, or journey by the motion of his
limbs, that he might in a far country waste in riotous living all Thou
gavest at his departure? a loving Father, when Thou gavest, and more
loving unto him, when he returned empty. So then in lustful, that
is, in darkened affections, is the true distance from Thy face.

Behold, O Lord God, yea, behold patiently as Thou art wont how
carefully the sons of men observe the covenanted rules of letters
and syllables received from those who spake before them, neglecting
the eternal covenant of everlasting salvation received from Thee.