Oddparts Press

not life but a punishment. For his mind, free from that chain, was
amazed at my thraldom; and through that amazement was going on to a
desire of trying it, thence to the trial itself, and thence perhaps to
sink into that bondage whereat he wondered, seeing he was willing to
make a covenant with death; and he that loves danger, shall fall
into it. For whatever honour there be in the office of well-ordering a
married life, and a family, moved us but slightly. But me for the most
part the habit of satisfying an insatiable appetite tormented, while
it held me captive; him, an admiring wonder was leading captive. So
were we, until Thou, O Most High, not forsaking our dust,
commiserating us miserable, didst come to our help, by wondrous and
secret ways.

Continual effort was made to have me married. I wooed, I was
promised, chiefly through my mother's pains, that so once married, the
health-giving baptism might cleanse me, towards which she rejoiced
that I was being daily fitted, and observed that her prayers, and
Thy promises, were being fulfilled in my faith. At which time
verily, both at my request and her own longing, with strong cries of
heart she daily begged of Thee, that Thou wouldest by a vision
discover unto her something concerning my future marriage; Thou
never wouldest. She saw indeed certain vain and fantastic things, such
as the energy of the human spirit, busied thereon, brought together;
and these she told me of, not with that confidence she was wont,
when Thou showedst her any thing, but slighting them. For she could,
she said, through a certain feeling, which in words she could not
express, discern betwixt Thy revelations, and the dreams of her own
soul. Yet the matter was pressed on, and a maiden asked in marriage,
two years under the fit age; and, as pleasing, was waited for.

And many of us friends conferring about, and detesting the turbulent
turmoils of human life, had debated and now almost resolved on
living apart from business and the bustle of men; and this was to be
thus obtained; we were to bring whatever we might severally procure,
and make one household of all; so that through the truth of our