Oddparts Press

friendship nothing should belong especially to any; but the whole thus
derived from all, should as a whole belong to each, and all to all. We
thought there might be some often persons in this society; some of
whom were very rich, especially Romanianus our townsman, from
childhood a very familiar friend of mine, whom the grievous
perplexities of his affairs had brought up to court; who was the
most earnest for this project; and therein was his voice of great
weight, because his ample estate far exceeded any of the rest. We
had settled also that two annual officers, as it were, should
provide all things necessary, the rest being undisturbed. But when
we began to consider whether the wives, which some of us already
had, others hoped to have, would allow this, all that plan, which
was being so well moulded, fell to pieces in our hands, was utterly
dashed and cast aside. Thence we betook us to sighs, and groans, and
our steps to follow the broad and beaten ways of the world; for many
thoughts were in our heart, but Thy counsel standeth for ever. Out
of which counsel Thou didst deride ours, and preparedst Thine own;
purposing to give us meat in due season, and to fill our souls with
blessing.

Meanwhile my sins were being multiplied, and my concubine being torn
from my side as a hindrance to my marriage, my heart which clave
unto her was torn and wounded and bleeding. And she returned to Afric,
vowing unto Thee never to know any other man, leaving with me my son
by her. But unhappy I, who could not imitate a very woman, impatient
of delay, inasmuch as not till after two years was I to obtain her I
sought not being so much a lover of marriage as a slave to lust,
procured another, though no wife, that so by the servitude of an
enduring custom, the disease of my soul might be kept up and carried
on in its vigour, or even augmented, into the dominion of marriage.
Nor was that my wound cured, which had been made by the cutting away
of the former, but after inflammation and most acute pain, it
mortified, and my pains became less acute, but more desperate.

To Thee be praise, glory to Thee, Fountain of mercies. I was