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becoming more miserable, and Thou nearer. Thy right hand was
continually ready to pluck me out of the mire, and to wash me
thoroughly, and I knew it not; nor did anything call me back from a
yet deeper gulf of carnal pleasures, but the fear of death, and of Thy
judgment to come; which amid all my changes, never departed from my
breast. And in my disputes with my friends Alypius and Nebridius of
the nature of good and evil, I held that Epicurus had in my mind won
the palm, had I not believed that after death there remained a life
for the soul, and places of requital according to men's deserts, which
Epicurus would not believe. And I asked, "were we immortal, and to
live in perpetual bodily pleasure, without fear of losing it, why
should we not be happy, or what else should we seek?" not knowing that
great misery was involved in this very thing, that, being thus sunk
and blinded, I could not discern that light of excellence and
beauty, to be embraced for its own sake, which the eye of flesh cannot
see, and is seen by the inner man. Nor did I, unhappy, consider from
what source it sprung, that even on these things, foul as they were, I
with pleasure discoursed with my friends, nor could I, even
according to the notions I then had of happiness, be happy without
friends, amid what abundance soever of carnal pleasures. And yet these
friends I loved for themselves only, and I felt that I was beloved
of them again for myself only.

O crooked paths! Woe to the audacious soul, which hoped, by
forsaking Thee, to gain some better thing! Turned it hath, and
turned again, upon back, sides, and belly, yet all was painful; and
Thou alone rest. And behold, Thou art at hand, and deliverest us
from our wretched wanderings, and placest us in Thy way, and dost
comfort us, and say, "Run; I will carry you; yea I will bring you
through; there also will I carry you."

BOOK VII