Oddparts Press

and burned up that our heavy torpor, that we should not sink down to
the abyss; and they fired us so vehemently, that all the blasts of
subtle tongues from gainsayers might only inflame us the more
fiercely, not extinguish us. Nevertheless, because for Thy Name's sake
which Thou hast hallowed throughout the earth, this our vow and
purpose might also find some to commend it, it seemed like ostentation
not to wait for the vacation now so near, but to quit beforehand a
public profession, which was before the eyes of all; so that all
looking on this act of mine, and observing how near was the time of
vintage which I wished to anticipate, would talk much of me, as if I
had desired to appear some great one. And what end had it served me,
that people should repute and dispute upon my purpose, and that our
good should be evil spoken of.

Moreover, it had at first troubled me that in this very summer my
lungs began to give way, amid too great literary labour, and to
breathe deeply with difficulty, and by the pain in my chest to show
that they were injured, and to refuse any full or lengthened speaking;
this had troubled me, for it almost constrained me of necessity to lay
down that burden of teaching, or, if I could be cured and recover,
at least to intermit it. But when the full wish for leisure, that I
might see how that Thou art the Lord, arose, and was fixed, in me;
my God, Thou knowest, I began even to rejoice that I had this
secondary, and that no feigned, excuse, which might something moderate
the offence taken by those who, for their sons' sake, wished me
never to have the freedom of Thy sons. Full then of such joy, I
endured till that interval of time were run; it may have been some
twenty days, yet they were endured manfully; endured, for the
covetousness which aforetime bore a part of this heavy business, had
left me, and I remained alone, and had been overwhelmed, had not
patience taken its place. Perchance, some of Thy servants, my
brethren, may say that I sinned in this, that with a heart fully set
on Thy service, I suffered myself to sit even one hour in the chair of
lies. Nor would I be contentious. But hast not Thou, O most merciful
Lord, pardoned and remitted this sin also, with my other most horrible